I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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