Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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