I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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