GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
