im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
