That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
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You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize