OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
