Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
