Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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