she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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