i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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