Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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