You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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