One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
