Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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