Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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