Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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