They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
