seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
