Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
