Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
