I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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