1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
