guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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