Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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