Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
