I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have feelings that need drinking.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
