but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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