So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Farmville is her only friend.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
