singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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