I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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