in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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