Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize