please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
