You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
