if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
