just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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