grandma shit on top of the toilet
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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