Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize