3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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