There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
