They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
