i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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