She said her name was "party"
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
