Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
