Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize