Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
