I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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