look no pants
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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