Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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