i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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