Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
