I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
