Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
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i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
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Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
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