Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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